I’ve composed this letter in my mind a hundred times, usually on the table during a massage. I’ve always chickened out putting it into the world, but I’ve finally decided to do it.

We all have insecurities, especially when it comes to our bodies. For some of us, the older we get the less we care what others think. But those insecurities never fully go away. The negative thoughts I have about my body run rampant on the table.

A massage can be a very vulnerable experience. You’re allowing someone you don’t know (usually) use their hands all over you to help work out kinks, reduce pain, release toxins, and promote wellness in your body. You’re welcome to wear as much or little clothing as you like,  but you’re covered by a sheet except for the specific part the therapist is working on.

It took years for me to be comfortable getting a massage and my friend Amy was instrumental in that. Since then, I’ve received a lot of massages and I have the same thoughts every time: Thank you for not judging me and my body. Even if my massage therapist is judging me by chance, they never act like it or show it. My insecurities are running through my mind the whole time: I know I’m fat. I know I have dimples and cellulite. I know I have cysts that aren’t fun to touch. I know I have a fatty neck that rolls when you massage it. I know I’m overdue for that pedicure. I know my manicure left the building last year. I know you see the varicose veins on my back where most people don’t have them. If my massage therapist only knew all the things I’m silently apologizing for on the table while she works on me.

But she never needs my apology. She never acts disgusted or put off. She never leaves the room, makes a face, or coughs uncomfortably. Massage therapists are professionals and they are kind. Extremely kind…even when I do verbally apologize for my lack of pedicure or manicure. It’s that kindness and warmth that always triggers this love letter in my head. I have a special place in my heart for people who can touch other people all day long and see the healing side of it over anything superficial. They are truly special people and I am so thankful there are people who want to do that line of work. Massage therapy has been absolutely essential for my self-care and well-being.

Thank you to all my amazing massage therapists over the years, my many massage therapist friends who heal every day, and those who will continue to carry on the practice. You are like none other and you are LOVED!