I am so not PC

DISCLAIMER: I started this post on 9/24/13, not too long after Sidewalk Film Festival where I also attended the 4th Avenue Jazz Festival for the first time. I’m finally finishing the post. Also, this is a bit of a risky post since it deals with race and I’m sorely lacking in political correctness. Please forgive me if I offend anyone.

The recent 50 Years Forward events sparked a fire inside me, yet I don’t know the proper (or politically correct) way to describe it.

I don’t consider myself a racist. Sadly, I have had racist thoughts pop into my head subconsciously before, but I quickly erased them as fast as they arrived. I hate that they come. I hate that I even know that they are racist thoughts. I don’t know where they originated from or where I got the negative thoughts. I pray they disappear and I never see, or think, them again.

Being from the South, I have always known black people and had black friends. My schools were half and half growing up, some of my best friends on the bus were the black girls down the road, yet we never played together or saw each other outside of the bus or school. Why is that? Why did I never venture down the long dirt road to their house? Was I scared? Was it forbidden? I have no idea. I just know that I stayed in my white suburban neighborhood with my white suburban friends. There were no black people in our neighborhood. Don’t get me wrong, my dad didn’t purposely put us in (or out) of any neighborhood based on the population. He found a house he liked and plopped us down. But I always wondered about the kids down the long dirt road.

There were racist comments in my school – the whites toward blacks and the blacks toward whites. It happens. Sadly. We were all young and ignorant. I am happy to say that I grew out of and away from that ignorance, but I’m well aware that it still exists. I wonder how the children in my elementary school act now. I wonder if it’s generation after generation of the same ignorance and meanness. There was kindness in there too; I had many sweet black friends in school. But there was definitely hate.

Fast forward 30 years. I attended the Taste of 4th Avenue Jazz Festival in August. I had never been before. It happened the same weekend as Sidewalk Film Festival and one of the Sidewalk venues was smack in the middle of the festival, so I went. I hate that it took a film festival venue to get me there, but grateful at the same time.

I had never been to the Carver Theatre for the Performing Arts before that day. Again, I hate that it took so long, but happy at the outcome. Seeing those pink walls lined with pictures from the past, hearing the glorious music and films from yesteryear in the walls, and feeling the history moved me. I spent the entire day in the theatre, popping in and out to watch films, explore, take it all in. I fell in love instantly. Eventually day turned into evening and the Jazz Festival outside really started jumping. I drifted out the doors toward the music. I was immersed in a sea of people, mostly black. My face was awash in the glow of food vendors and smiling faces. I immediately felt connected, happy, at home.

I walked through the vendors to see the offerings and settled on a burger that was “world famous” according to the gentleman that sidled up next to me in line. He said they were the best burgers in the world and I had to get one with everything. I took his recommendation and received the biggest burger I’ve ever seen, dripping from the sauce, onions, and everything but the kitchen sink sitting on top of the patty. This was definitely a 2 hand dinner, so I sat down on the side steps of the Carver, behind a few of the food vendors. I was in good company, albeit the only white person I saw at all. As we all sat there on the step eating our dinners, new friends nodded to me and I nodded back.

At that moment it struck me just how far we HAVE come in the last 50 years. Shoot, less than that. I was overwhelmed by the appreciation I had for all those who came before us, who paved the way so that I could sit there with my new friends and enjoy our burgers and hot dogs, all purchased from the same place, sharing them inches away from each other on the same set of stairs, enjoying the great music, atmosphere, each other’s company and diversity.

That moment will stay with me for the rest of my life. It was the moment I realized just how far we’ve come and how happy I am to be living here now, where I don’t notice color. I know there is still a very long way to go, and though I may have been conspicuous as one of the few white people there at that moment, I never felt more comfortable or at home. Thank you for that Birmingham.

Love yourself.
Find peace inside.
Share happiness.

Process Schmocess

Today’s #bloglikecrazy writing prompt is how we blog, our process. I will confess that I don’t have a set tried and true process. I know the most amazing bloggers who go through a few drafts of a blog post before publishing the final one. I just find a few minutes in the day to sit down and write out my thoughts. I definitely proof it before posting (usually), but that’s it. That’s the whole thing. Hence the reason they are amazing writers and bloggers, and I am just a goofball.

I learn a lot from those that have a strict process for creating their content like all about ledes, editorial calendars, and more. But since I barely have the time to plan meals for my livability, I haven’t been able to try any of those ideas yet. Still, I look up to those women – my friends who set aside a specific time period or amount of time each day for writing, who plan and follow their editorial calendars religiously, who write and rewrite their posts, perfecting their craft. I doubt I will ever be as awesome as they are, but as long as I’m having fun, my process works for me.

Love yourself.
Find peace inside.
Share happiness.

Why Ask Why?

I love cliches. I know, I know…that’s so cliche. But it’s true. I can’t help it. I really don’t see why everyone dislikes them so. They’re fun and like a universal language we all begrudgingly speak.

Today’s writing prompt asks why we blog. I’ve never really thought about it and I can’t think of a good answer. How sad is that? I’m not a writer…I know that. I don’t enjoy it the way a lot of my friends do. Part of me thinks I might if I found the perfect outlet for me. It’s not blogging though I do enjoy getting my feelings out there. I’ve written shorts stories and poems, neither are a passion. I can’t even fathom writing a novel when I balk at writing a few paragraphs for 30 days straight. I don’t know.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate writing or blogging. I wouldn’t be doing #bloglikecrazy if I did. I enjoy giving friends and family insight into my mind and thoughts. I enjoy venting on here when need be. I enjoy being able to write one time to update everyone on something major in my life…saves so much time.

When I’m not blogging like crazy I’m very sporadic in my posts. They usually appear when something happens, I feel strongly about something, or the like. There is normally a specific reason for the post. I don’t find inspiration to write in a lot of things and I’m ok with that. My outlets come in other ways. I’m more of a doer and implementer, not really a writer. But I’m thankful for the opportunity, ability, and freedom to write what I want when I want. I take it for granted entirely too much. I need to work on that. Let’s add that to yesterday’s list. 😉

Have a wonderful day, friends!

Love yourself.
Find peace inside.
Share happiness.

What’s New for November? Me!

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy out there in blogland! I’m baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-aaaaaaaaaaaaaack. First off, before I get started on anything else, I have to tell you that La-Di-Da-Di just came on the radio station I am listening to. SCORE! This takes me back to junior high and high school. I may or may not still know all the words. Shhhhhhhhhh!

Alright, back to business. November is #bloglikecrazy month for us See Jane Write gals. And seeing as how I have been sorely lacking in the writing department for months, here goes nothing.

I am grateful for Javacia’s writing prompts for each day if we’re blanking. Today’s topic is our intentions for the month. We all know how well I do with written out goals (cough), but I am hopeful! This month I would like to:

  1. Continue this writing trend
  2. Work harder on making healthier food choices
  3. Start riding Elektra again (my bicycle..I stopped during the hot weather because I would surely pass out)
  4. Spend more quality time with hubster, family, and friends (I’ve been remiss in my trips home to Montgomery)
  5. Begin cleaning out the house so I can have a massive yard sale in the spring and MINIMIZE
  6. Focus on finances and make some major changes for the new year
  7. Slow down socially. I am in desperate need of “me” time. I love my city, all my friends and their celebrations, but I’m just wearing myself down, I can tell. So HEALTH IS NUMBER ONE! My hypothyroidism levels continue to increase (not good), so I need to slow down and focus on all things good and well.

That’s it. That’s me and November. Are you doing #bloglikecrazy? If so, what are you most excited to write about?

See you tomorrow! 🙂

Love yourself.
Find peace inside.
Share happiness.