Sherri Ross

23
Jun
2014

Closing the door

https://www.flickr.com/photos/nathanoliverphotography/ — photo courtesy of flickr creative commons

Hubs and I are moving soon and I spent this past weekend going through things, purging, and packing. There are boxes and bags of things that I have simply moved from one place to another for years without taking (or maybe having) the time to go through it to see if I still need it. This next month will be all about that. Let me tell you, just this weekend was like a punch in the gut. I pulled out pictures and momentos from my past that stopped me in my tracks. And a few times it wasn’t something I saw but rather something I heard. There were songs that immediately catapulted me back in time to my first love, losing my virginity, and more. So this weekend was quite emotional for me. I feel like I’m in a bit of a fog, knowing that I don’t need those things anymore, knowing that my life is infinitely better than I could have imagined nearly 4 years ago when I moved back to Alabama. But still….there are heart strings…and tugs…and nostalgia.

I’m still processing all these feelings and likely will be for at least the next month as I tackle more items from my past. Please bear with me if I seem out of sorts, but know that I will prevail…stronger than ever…and happier than I ever thought possible. Plus <<confession time>> I listen to this song and it immediately brightens my mood and makes me dance in my seat. Call me crazy. Maybe.

16
Jun
2014

this is just a simple song

categories: music, Uncategorized

For my friends who might need this right now. You know who you are…..

Simple Song by the Shins

Well, this is just a simple song,
To say what you done.
I told you ’bout all those fears,
And away they did run.
You sure must be strong,
And you feel like an ocean being warmed by the sun.
When I was just nine years old,
I swear that I dreamt,
Your face on a football field,
And a kiss that I kept,
Under my vest.
Apart from everything,
But the heart in my chest.

Chorus:
I know that things can really get rough,
When you go it alone.
Don’t go thinking you gotta be tough,
And bleed like a stone.
Could be there’s nothing else in our lives so critical,
As this little home.
My life in an upturned boat,
Marooned on a cliff.
You brought me a great big flood,
And you gave me a lift.
Girl, what a gift.
Will you tell me with your tongue,
And your breath was in my lungs,
And we float up through the rift.

Chorus:
I know that things can really get rough,
When you go it alone.
Don’t go thinking you gotta be tough,
And bleed like a stone.
Could be there’s nothing else in our lives so critical,
As this little home.
Well, this would be a simple song,
To say what you done.
I told you ’bout all those fears,
And away they did run.
You sure must be strong,

When you feel like an ocean being warmed by the sun.
Remember walking a mile to your house,
A glow in the dark
I made a fumbling play for your heart,
And the act struck a spark.
You wore a charm on the chain that I stole,
Especial for you.
Love’s such a delicate thing that we do,
With nothing to prove,
Which I never knew.

19
May
2014

Downward Spiral

categories: depression

It’s been some time since I wrote. There’s no good reason or explanation….I just stopped writing. Life happens, ya know? I don’t beat myself up too much when I don’t write. I don’t want to be a writer for a living, so I don’t feel like I’m messing up everything when I don’t stick to a schedule.

I write when I get inspired or feel compelled to write. That happened today. Today was a cluster of unfortunate accidents. Let me back up a bit by saying that I’ve recently been growing my relationship with God and working through issues I’ve had for a very long time. I’m still very much broken, but healing more every day. And so very thankful for the light and the lessons I’m learning. Had today happened a year ago, I would have sat right down and had a very long, private pity party. But it happened and while I did have a small hiccup, I’m still unscathed. The events, you ask? Not big deals at all, but they just added up. Let me share…..

I broke my ankle nearly two weeks ago at work, just walking. Go me! So I’ve been in an inflatable air cast and somewhat immobile for the past few weeks. To say it’s slowly sucking the life out of me is an understatement. I am one who goes and does every weekend and many nights. It’s been quite painful staying in the house and mostly bedridden as I’m supposed to stay off it as much as possible.

This morning I hobbled to the bathroom and started the shower. After that, the toilet promptly stopped up as soon as I flushed (no, no foreign or crazy objects in there for those wondering). I quickly shut off the water to the toilet and checked the shower stall…it was rapidly filling with water. And it was a shower only, so very little depth compared to a tub. I shut it off, but it was too late. The water was seeping out the door onto the bathroom floor…and then out onto the master bedroom carpet..all of this on the 2nd floor. A few minutes later my husband came to see if I was running water. I told him I had just turned it off. Good, he said, because it was dripping from the ceiling below, in the den, onto the couch. SERIOUSLY? Yes, seriously. We called the plumber, the landlord, and work to let them know we would be late. I finally made it downstairs and saw the seams of the ceiling coming apart in the den. Woo hoo! Then another drip started in a different area of the ceiling. Drip, drip, stream, stream, then full on WATERFALL in the living room coming from the ceiling and bathroom above. Grabbing a bucket, we placed it on the floor in the living room. It lasted about 10 minutes and then tapered off to a drip again. What was that? Oh, just the toilet and shower emptying themselves for whatever reason…at that precise moment. WHOOSH! All the water that was standing in the toilet and shower on the 2nd floor was gone.

After that, the day just became a blur. I stayed calm and composed, but I could tell I was close to losing it. After an uber crazy day at work, I came home and took the air cast off for a rest only to find what looks like a bone sticking out of the side of my ankle. WHAT? Possible surgery? That was it…I lost it. I just broke down and cried. I had handled all I could handle today.

I’m writing this to ask for your help. I am a pretty independent chick – most anyone who knows me will tell you that. But I am not too proud to ask for help when needed. The air cast is going to be with me for some time to come and I’m trying very hard not to succumb to the darkness that I see lingering just below the surface. Thinking about possible construction-type work in our house during this already trying time is stressing me out. I haven’t been depressed in quite some time (thank God!), but I can see it reaching out for me…knowing that staying still, away from events and friends, is not good for me. I thrive on friends, interactions, and being a part of this beautiful city. So if you are so inclined, please send some good juju, prayers, love and light my way that I will prevail over this and that my flame stays bright. I feel like it’s slowly dying without oxygen and I’m caring less and less. I’m not asking for pity or praises either – that is not what this is about. Just please say a little prayer for me. I will overcome….I know this. It’s just hard to see the light sometimes.

Thank you in advance!

25
Feb
2014

Who inspires you, Birmingham?

categories: Birmingham

I recently met a new friend, Kevin Storr, who helps run PRSA Alabama. He asked ma great question during our meeting, “What happened when you moved back to Birmingham (from D.C.) to make you want to get involved in the community?” I don’t know that I had ever been asked that question before though a lot of my friends know how much I love Birmingham. Why do I love Birmingham? How did it come to be? I had never given it much thought…it just happened.

I had previously lived in Birmingham, in a beautiful apartment in Southside. I loved the vibe of the area, the scenery, and being in the heart of the city. While I had a great first experience I really fell in love with the city the second time around. I am sure it had to do with the revitalization that was happening when I moved back in 2010. Railroad Park was brand new, Regions Park was moving downtown, 2nd Avenue North and surrounding areas were exploding, and people were excited. Upon my return, I was instantly greeted by buzz and excitement, people were talking. I looked for ways to get involved and connected and I didn’t have to look far. Within my first few weeks I heard the name Laura Kate Whitney multiple times. Who was this Birmingham phenom that everyone seemed to know and love?

I don’t remember when I first met LK (I have a very selective memory as my husband will tell you), but I do remember that I knew I would never forget her. She was a firework finale packed into a single firecracker. My “big” personality was no match for her hypnotic happiness and enthusiasm for all things Birmingham. I was hooked. This is what I wanted to do. I wanted to drink in the city and all its good and bad with unwavering devotion and celebration.

I set up a meeting with LK to get to know her better. As per usual with LK, she completely turned the conversation around, got to know me better, wanted to hear about my loves, and we came up with a new name on the spot for this new rookie Birmingham cheerleader (me) courtesy of the Alabama Power building downtown – Electra. Even though the moniker was meant for me, it fitted her better: LK is electric and has a way of spreading her electricity to everyone around her and getting them equally excited about the topic at hand.

Bottom line: the girl is magic. She casts spells, she gets people excited and involved, and everyone I’ve ever asked has fallen madly in love with her. How could you not? She is, after all, Birmingham’s original cheerleader.

Update: Laura Kate is one of the notable speakers at this weekend’s sold out Birmingham TEDx event. You can find more information about and listen to a live stream of the day’s events here: http://www.tedxbirmingham.org/

16
Jan
2014

WARNING: This may make you cry :)

categories: beauty

Was the Subject line I was greeted with recently in an email from a dear friend. Of course I opened it expecting to see a clip of a dog rescuing ducks or a baby meeting its mother for the first time. What I wasn’t prepared for was the sweet, yet adamant, email telling me if I’m not going to stand for some bully making fun of me, why do I do it to myself?

I recently wrote a post describing my experience with a bully. I asked how friends would have handled the situation and everyone came through with words of wisdom and nuggets of awesomeness. I can’t thank my friends enough for giving me their honest feedback – some good, some bad, and yes, some downright ugly.

But the best thing to come of that post was this dear friend calling me out on my BS. I hate pictures of myself, even though I love this article and wish I could get it through my thick head. However, a lot of times when a friend posts a picture of me, I comment in some joking fashion usually with negative undertones. Case in point: I threw a surprise party for my husband last weekend. I am a very hot-natured person so naturally I was sweating up a storm during the night from the massive pile of hair on my head. I always do – it’s a given. A friend took a picture of us and I posted it online, but noted that I was “a wet poodle” in it. The next day, husband took a picture of me playing with Legos and posted it without my knowledge and I gasped when I saw it online; I was in pajamas, hair in a horrid ponytail, no makeup, and fat everywhere. I commented that I wished he would stop taking and posting such horrible pictures of me.

Then I received this email:

Last week, you posted a story about a stranger at Bourbon Street karaoke that you found out had said mean things about you, took pictures of you when you saw him again, and just generally was a demeaning ass. It hurt you so much that you left the building! It affected you to the point that you had to share it with people who care about you to help soothe your feelings.

Wanna know something? You are that asshole in your own life!

Nearly every time there is a picture of you on FB – whether you post it or not – you make a comment (though in the form of a joke) about how you look. In the picture of you and Daniel from the surprise party, you referred to yourself as a poodle because of your hair. In the picture Daniel lovingly posted of you playing with Legos, you focused on what a “bad picture of you” it was.

Why do you get so upset when someone else says hurtful things about you but then say hurtful things about yourself? All the people who know and love you think that you are an amazing, gutsy, funny, beautiful woman, but I don’t know that you always believe or claim those things for yourself.

Next time that you put yourself down – in your own head or vocalizing it to others – imagine that it was the asshole from the bar saying it and stop! If no one else has the right to be mean to you, you shouldn’t be mean to yourself, either.

The girl is right. And I owe her a ton of gratitude for verbally slapping me in the face and waking me up. Right after I received that email, I saw this great article on Tiny Buddha that said:

Take a good look at the people in your life that you love—your spouse, your children, your parents, your siblings, and your close friends…You see them as truly beautiful—and these people view you the same way. Remind yourself every day that the people who truly count recognize your beauty and try to validate their good opinion by believing it yourself.

Amen, sisters!