Sherri Ross

08
Mar
2016

In Da Club (+ a giveaway!)

My friend, Javacia, recently had her birthday party at SOL Dance Experience. I’ve written about SOL before and I enjoy it every time I go, but this time was even better than usual.

If you aren’t sure what SOL is, I’ll give a brief recap: it’s the most amazing dance party you’ve ever been to and you’re the best dancer there. SOL is a dance experience like none other where women gather in a room, turn the lights down low (off!), turn the music up high (loud!), and dance like no one is watching (because no one is!). There are small “fireflies” on the floor to help you stay in the same place in the room so you all don’t dance into each other. SOL is also one of the presenting sponsors of the next Birmingham Dance Walk on 3/20 so we’re total fangirls of this place!

Since it was a private birthday party, Javacia was able to ask for all her favorite songs. Laura, the creator of SOL, then took her list and created a great dance track for the evening from it. From Beyonce to Missy Elliott to Drake and lots more in between, fifteen of Javacia’s gals gathered around her, dancing, clapping, and singing to the music. When “In Da Club” came on, we all spontaneously (yet perfectly in sync) sang, “Go, shawty, it’s your birthday, we gonna party like it’s your birthday, we gonna sip Bacardi like it’s your birthday….” at the top of our lungs to her. It was PERFECT! On the last song of the night Laura presented Javacia with a glow-in-the-dark birthday crown and we circled around her and celebrated all the love and light and strength that she is.

I go to SOL as much as I can and each time it’s a new experience, full of women, bonding, yelling, and cardio. But this was different. We were all there for Javacia and the energy was palpable. I have never danced so hard at SOL (and I learned even more about Javacia’s awesome musical taste and met some of her other amazing friends). It was the perfect dance party and we all left exclaiming how much fun it was and trying to figure out whose birthday was next so we could do it again soon.

Now the best part: thanks to Laura and SOL Dance Experience I am giving one lucky reader the chance to win your own private dance club for a night! You and 15 of your closest friends will experience your own dance party with myself and Laura, picking out your perfect playlist before the event, celebrating anything you want to! Maybe you just finished a 5k, half marathon or marathon. Maybe you passed that extremely hard exam. Maybe you recently had a huge win at work. Maybe it’s your birthday! Whatever the reason, come celebrate with your own private dance party. You can enter below in the Rafflecopter box and a winner will be chosen on March 14th*. If you’ve never experienced SOL this is a great way to test drive it and share the experience with some of your favorite ladies. I promise you will be talking about how much fun it was once the lights come up.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

*This prize is valued at $150. This prize is good for one 1-hour SOL session for yourself and 15 of your friends, led by Laura Gaines of SOL Dance Experience. The winner will coordinate with Laura on the date and location and then we’ll help you create an event invitation to share with your friends and DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY!

02
Mar
2016

How Do You Say Goodbye?

categories: depression, health

Many of my friends know that hubs and I are getting ready for a move. Close friends know that I am working to declutter before we move so we can have (and move) less stuff. My closest friends know that I tend to keep everything that means anything so I have 5 “memory boxes” filled with scraps and trinkets starting from the time I was probably 18. I also have boxes and boxes of pictures that I just move from one place to another. Real photos…like they used to print years ago in actual photo labs and not just Walgreens. I’m sort of trying the Konmari method and sort of just trying to take less stuff, so I’m going through the boxes and throwing away old pictures.

When I opened the first box, I had no idea 1998 would hit me in the face like a wall. Wow, 1998. I was 23, barely old enough to drink, married for three years at that time, living in Montgomery. Pictures from my grandfather’s funeral along with visits to Wisconsin, Michigan, and Canada filled the bed as I pulled batch after batch out of the box. Beach trips with my girls, a road trip to the Saturn Homecoming in Tennessee in 1999 in my Saturn with Tomma where we saw Train, Faith Hill, Tim McGraw, and Hootie & the Blowfish in concert. An epic Fourth of July party with all of our friends in Montgomery. And dogs…lots of dog pictures. Dog pictures with my ex husband. Pictures of my ex husband.

A year ago – even a few months ago – these pictures would have unleashed a waterfall of tears…not unlike the Niagara Falls pictures I came across…with him in them. But I truly believe in the power of prayer, of God, of medicine, and therapy. My therapist knows my deepest, darkest secrets and doesn’t judge me for them. She helps me with them. A few months ago she had me do an exercise where I said goodbye to the ex husband, who I still held on to in my heart. I had a lot of guilt over our divorce (it was my doing) and blamed myself for it for many, many years after. Many years. Lots of blame, guilt, and regret. Things that depression is made of.

The exercise in my therapist’s office was the hardest one I’ve ever done and I cried harder than ever as I did it. But I did it. And the feeling after was like night and day. I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted (and actually, it had). I was a changed person and my husband knew it that night (before I even told him what happened earlier that day). I also felt exhausted. I went home, feeling like I had been hit by a Mack truck, and promptly slept for 10 hours straight.

It’s hard to say goodbye to people or things that have been a part of your life for a lot of it. It’s even harder to say goodbye when you can’t let go. Thankfully, with therapy and prayer, I was finally able to cut my albatross and let it go. I will be the first to shout out loud that therapy, counseling, just TALKING to someone can be theraputic and help so much. It doesn’t need to ignored or shushed and should most definitely be talked about and recommendations shared. It’s not taboo – therapy is just like venting and gabbing to your best friend, but to an unbiased outside ear to get a new perspective. And therapists can provide useful tools to help you deal with life’s everyday challenges.

The ex has a good life now, I know this. I’m so happy for him, but even happier that I no longer feel like I’m to blame for everything. We both landed on our feet and we’re both now with who we should be with.

Years ago I never thought I would be able to look at his picture and not cry. But I did tonight. I stared at it for a long time, to see what would happen inside. To see if I would lose it and feel that old guilt well up. It didn’t. I looked at the picture, said a prayer for him, wished him well, and stuck it on the trash pile. That’s how I said goodbye.

22
Feb
2016

Where My STEM Girls At?

categories: STEM, technology

Yes, I know that’s not proper grammar. No, I don’t care. 🙂 It’s my blog and I’ll write how I want to.

Saturday I was fortunate enough to present a few talks to 7th – 12th grade girls about STEM careers for the 3rd Annual Super Saturday STEM Summit. The Summit was started by Miss Leeds Area, Briana Kinsey, as part of her platform on her journey to the Miss Alabama stage. She’s an amazing, extremely intelligent young lady attending the University of Alabama at Birmingham and changing lives along the way through diabetes education, as well as getting young girls interested in STEM classes. If you don’t know STEM stands for Science Technology Engineering and Mathematics and women are woefully underrepresented in careers in this field.

This was my second year presenting and each year it’s more fun. This year I talked to the girls about coding and how so many things are run by codes and programs, including the Internet of Things, the latest trend. It was so rewarding to hear the girls talk about growing up to be dentists, chemical engineers, mathematicians, and more. I went over how important STEM classes and careers are for them and talked about everyone from Mae Jemison to Amandla Sternberg (Rue from The Hunger Games). I’m thankful to Briana and writers like Clair McLafferty who are trying to increase STEM awareness for girls and women alike.

The same thing I told the girls on Saturday goes for anyone who’s passionate about a career in STEM: you can do anything you set your mind to, you do belong at the table, and – like Sheryl Sandberg says – “lean in” because you’re just as smart as the guys at the table, if not smarter. You wouldn’t be there if you weren’t.

16
Feb
2016

10 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Moving into a Loft

categories: moving

Is loft living for you? My husband and I moved into a loft in downtown Birmingham a few years ago. It was a dream of ours for years and we were given a great opportunity to make it happen. It was everything we dreamed it would be – close to all the action, able to see friends walking down the street from our 3rd floor windows, having parties in the spacious front room, bike share, ball park, and green spaces all nearby. It was wonderful. Now before I get into the meat of the post, ask yourself a few questions:

Why do I want to live in a loft? Is it the thrill or convenience of being downtown, in the heart of a growing city? Is it because I’ve dreamed of it ever since I saw Tom Hanks’ loft in Big? Is it for other reasons? Really ask yourself that question and write it out. Then say it to someone not in your household. Is it a good, legitimate, reason? Now for the real questions to ask yourself when looking at potential lofts or living spaces downtown:

What is the parking situation? Does it have reserved parking? A garage? Is the parking lot secure? How many spots do you get with your place? Is that negotiable or can you get additional spaces if needed? Is it street parking? (Warning: street parking downtown is the worst, if you didn’t already know. If you do have to street park, please hope you leave before the Meter Maids come start coming ‘round). But really try for reserved or garage parking.
Is there an elevator? I know that may seem like a crazy question, but not all buildings downtown have one and if you’re on the 3rd floor of a building, those steps can get old after a year or two. Most buildings do have an elevator, but you want to double check for moving purposes. Many historic buildings downtown have restrictions on the elevators regarding moving in and out. Check that before you decide!
Are there condo or building association fees on top of your monthly rent or mortgage? Many places charge monthly building fees in addition your regular mortgage or rent, so be sure to ask about any additional monthly fees for living in a multi-tenant building.
Will there be people living above you? You will likely have people living around you, either above, below, or next to, in most multi-tenant situations. Being the old, ornery person I am, I no longer want someone living above me and driving me batty with heels on hardwoods, heavy walking, or critters. That’s just me; I’ve lived in enough apartments in my life to figure out what is and isn’t a deal breaker for me. Listening to people clomp around above me is one of them. Just like in some apartments, you will likely hear your neighbors – either their televisions, dogs barking, or a myriad of other sounds. Remember, you paid for that!
How do guests, service, or delivery people get to you and your new space? Will it require giving someone a code or can you buzz them in remotely? If you’re having a party, how will your hundreds of guests get into your building? If you live in a secure building, you likely don’t want to prop the downstairs front door open for a few hours to let your friends in (and your neighbors may not like that) so ask about that.
Can you afford to fix the building? If you decide to buy a space in a multi-tenant building and there is an issue with the building itself, all the owners may have to chip in to repair the common problem. This is the situation at our current building. The entire front facade of the building needed to be replaced, so all the owners had to help pay for the repair work. It’s been nearly nine months and many dollars for the owners, but it’s nearly done.
What is the pet policy? Make sure you check that if you have critters and see if there is a place for them to potty nearby. You will have to take dogs out on the leash every time and you will have to pick up after them. Also, keep that in mind if you are allergic to certain kinds of animals. If pets are allowed and living in the building, their dander and fur will likely be in the common areas from where their owners take them out for walks.
What happens if you get locked out? Is there an access code to get into your building? What if you forget the code or they change it and you haven’t received the new code yet? Is there another way in? Is there a physical lock somewhere you can use?
Is there rooftop access? This was a big one for us because we love to grill out. In our current building there is no rooftop access. Not a huge deal, but the longer we’ve been there, the more we realized how much we missed it. Some buildings downtown do have rooftop access or grills nearby, so check on that. Also, rooftops are perfect for watching the fireworks, sunsets, and airplanes downtown.
Can I afford it? With the downtown boom in Birmingham, many lofts are increasing in rent or purchase price. That means that in many cases you may end up paying more than your current living situation. Some buildings include cable, internet, or water, and some don’t include anything. Ask about all those extras before you decide because they can make or break your budget.

Do you still want to move into a loft? None of these are necessarily reasons not to move into a loft downtown, but they are definitely things to think about. Some may be deal breakers for you, some may not. I will say that we have loved loft living, but we do miss birds, trees, grass, and grilling out so we decided that we’re leaving the loft style. Maybe we’ll give it another try one day, but for now this is what works for us. 🙂

15
Feb
2016

Kickboxing 101

categories: fitness

Don’t do it.

There you go – that’s all you need to know.

I’m kidding! (sorta)

Recently I went my first kickboxing class thanks to a Groupon I couldn’t pass up. “What a great way to try something new!” I said. “What a cheap way to try something I’ve always wanted to do,” I said. Clearly, I was out of my mind.

My friend, Amanda, also purchased the Groupon because surely we wouldn’t both die together on the same day at the same time, right? Surely not! We shared nervous texts the entire week leading up to our first class. The day of we both arrived pretty early to check it out and quickly slip out if we wanted. My nervousness level was much higher than hers (shocker!) and she talked me into staying even though there were people all over the floor passed out and the windows were, conveniently, all fogged up from either the heat coming off the people or chloroform. I’m not sure which.

The lady showed us around to the lackluster locker room, but it wasn’t a deal breaker; I was here to kick some booty, not worry about how pretty the decor was. We got changed and took our place on the mat. We looked like broken seals trying to get our free boxing gloves on ourselves and eventually helped each other so we could take some pictures proving we really went.

“Alright, let’s warm up!” the instructor yelled. Ok, let’s do this. Whatcha got? TWENTY MINUTES OF BURPEES, PLANKS, SQUATS, RUNNING, AND OTHER HORRENDOUS THINGS LATER, it was time to “start.” Are you kidding me? This out-of-shape girl was already on the floor, panting, pouring sweat, and trying not to hurl. The sweet 60-year-old lady behind me assured me that was the “hardest part.” Ok, that’s fine. I’ll take it. Too bad I could no longer lift my arms or my legs to do the fun part. I kid you not. The instructor came by to teach Amanda and I how to jab, hook, and round house, but I was so gassed from the warm up that I just bopped, tapped, and shuffled before falling to the floor in a heaping mess. Wait! I can do this! Back up I go….a bop here, a tap there. Again, on the floor. Eventually, I had to leave the mat and let Amanda spar with the instructor. I was too busy heaving up my lunch in the bathroom.

I’m sure it was because I got overheated or something, but it was horrid. HORRID. Amanda did a fantastic job though, and I am proud of her! I WILL be going back (I paid good money for that!), but will be sure to tell them that I know my limits and if I need to sit one out, I’m going to. I will say that the instructors that night were very kind whenever I did have to stop or sit down and catch my breath. While they do want you to try your hardest and they do like to push, they did not keep after me and checked on me regularly to see if I needed anything. When the girl who showed us around in the beginning said to make sure we made it to the bathroom if we got sick, and not to do it on the mat, I took it with a grain of salt. I mean, we were kickboxing for Pete’s sake. Never again will I be so blase about vomit advice.

Have you ever been kickboxing? What did you think of it?