Sherri Ross

That title is not referring to my blog…rather, my mind has left. (Although you would think it’s referring to my blog since I haven’t been on in like a year.)

I’m still here. I’m still working. I’m still going out with the same guy. I’m still the same…for the most part. My mind and my heart have left the state though. I’ve been contemplating for a while now moving back home to Alabama…to be closer to my friends and my family there. I have been seriously thinking about it since probably March. I know I can’t do anything right now because my lease isn’t up until December. Plus, we’re moving to a new HQ facility at work in July and I’m in charge of the IT portion of it, plus getting a new phone system purchased, configured and installed. I would never leave before all that is done. But, I know I can seriously start looking after the move and that is pretty much all that’s keeping me going these days. My heart has already left. I feel like a robot lately, just going through the motions of work and life…while my real life is waiting to begin. I know that’s not true…this is it, it is now and I should live it and enjoy every moment. But inside I just feel like I’m passing time until I get to the next part. Soooo not realistic, but true. And I am living life now..I’m having a blast with friends and my man….doing more and more all the time because I know it may not last past this year. I’ve decided to make the summer the best I can, even though I’ll be working most of it with the move.

My body is here, by my mind is not. Elvis has left the building.

by Katie Todd

Necessary actions taken only so you’ll land on your feet.
And consequences with an action, overthrown in this distraction, please.

And even when the stars align there’s always something caught in your teeth.
This and that it’s always something with you, I’ve run out of steam.

Leave, I’m ready to leave, I’m sorry but you see, you’re making me bleed, I’m ready to leave.

Morning bells are ringing, and finally we’re singing in key.
Harmonizing with a .45 in mind, I think I should leave.

And even though I’m walking away, I wish the best for you dear.
Necessary actions taken only so I make myself clear.

You and I, can we make up our minds.
Let’s say goodbye this time for real, I’m gonna try.

Leave, I’m ready to leave, I’m sorry but you see, you’re making me bleed, I’m ready to leave.

Leave, I’m ready to leave….

I have over 300 friends on Facebook, yet I’ve never felt so alone. Well, that may be an exaggeration. I have felt this alone before. After Jeff.

It shouldn’t have been that hard, yet it was. I keep telling myself that. I keep trying to convince myself that the relationship should have been easier…the everyday of it. I keep telling myself that it was the right thing to do. I keep telling myself it was for the best…for both of us. My heart just isn’t there yet. I don’t know when it will be. I know I’ll be ok..we both will. It’s just the here and now that I’m having a hard time with. Why am I still crying? Why am I still thinking about him everyday when I wake up and when I go to bed? Why can’t I let go? I’m trying so hard. I should be further along than this. I wish I were. I’m just a ball of sadness and loneliness. I just miss him. I miss his friendship. Even if we weren’t meant to be together in the end, why did I have to lose the friendship? We said we’d always be friends. I guess not. Man, this is starting to sound familiar.

I hate it.

by Kate Bush

Pray God you can cope.
I stand outside this woman’s work,
This woman’s world.
Ooh, it’s hard on the man,
Now his part is over.
Now starts the craft of the father.

I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.

I should be crying, but I just can’t let it show.
I should be hoping, but I can’t stop thinking

Of all the things I should’ve said,
That I never said.
All the things we should’ve done,
Though we never did.
All the things I should’ve given,
But I didn’t.

Oh, darling, make it go,
Make it go away.

Give me these moments back.
Give them back to me.
Give me that little kiss.
Give me your hand.

(I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.)

I should be crying, but I just can’t let it show.
I should be hoping, but I can’t stop thinking

Of all the things we should’ve said,
That we never said.
All the things we should’ve done,
Though we never did.
All the things that you needed from me.
All the things that you wanted for me.
All the things that I should’ve given,
But I didn’t.

Oh, darling, make it go away.
Just make it go away now.

by Ani Difranco

I hate you sometimes
But I love to be your queen
You are my muse
Got me smoking nicotine

I watch you sometimes
From oh so far away
But I can’t forget you
Or anything you said

You sang that song in my ear
And it tickled those tiny hairs

Love is a puzzle
Some pieces they adjoin
It’s not like that with us
But I keep flipping that coin

I watch you sometimes
From oh so far away
But I can’t forget you
Or anything you say

You sang that song in my ear
And it tickled those tiny hairs