It takes time

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Courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons

It’s been a minute since I wrote more than a few sentences, but it’s time again for the annual #bloglikecrazy challenge. Each November, Javacia Bowser, founder of See Jane Write, challenges anyone and everyone to write a blog post every day for 30 days. Sometimes I make it, sometimes I don’t, but I always give it the old college try. And try again I will this year.

Why do I want to try #bloglikecrazy again? Because my blog needs a refresh. My site needs a refresh. I need some new menu options, some new graphics, some new everything. Maybe this month will give you, my dear readers, some chances to help me decide on the changes to be made…a new picture here and there…some color changes. Maybe some polls in there for you to vote on. But the blog will definitely be filled with new breath because that’s all I’ve got now. So much has happened since we last ran into each other (doesn’t it always seem that way), and I’ve got a lot to say.

I hope you stick around for the month – and after – and see what I’ve got for you on YouGotRossed. I’ve got some new ventures and adventures headed your way. More soon, loves!

Rebirth

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The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of loss, emotion, growth, and change. Rebirth is the best way to describe the outcome for me. Without going into a very long, detailed account of how it came about and all the signs and triggers that fell like dominoes in front of me, I will say that I came out the other end on a new plane full of positivity, renewed faith, light, love, and hope.

With the help of a few unknowing friends, I have a great grasp on the true definition and calling for my life, though I’m still not sure exactly how I’m supposed to use it. I’m not worried – that will come in time. I’m starting with Free Hugs Birmingham for now, something I’ve always wanted to do. I’ve got a few more projects along those same lines cooking in my head and heart and can’t wait to share them with you.

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This past weekend was spent at the annual women’s conference, reCreate, at Church of the Highlands. The conference is usually a time of surrender for me, where I come broken, in pieces, bawling my eyes out, needing love and healing. This year I was in a great place going in (thanks to the past few weeks) and had a completely different experience. I took away all positive affirmations from the speakers, writing down action items and things to continue on the journey I am already carving out for myself.

During the conference I ran into two friends and had the opportunity to sit down and talk with each of them separately for a good bit. Talking with Erin about her story and sharing mine with her, it was obvious to me that we were meant to meet up that day. Her story resonates with me on so many levels (I’ll let you read it for yourself here) and I can relate to it from many different perspectives. She has my utmost respect, love, and admiration for what she’s been through, what she’s decided, and what she continues to battle everyday. My favorite part of the conversation? After telling her what I want to do and sharing my fear and doubt with her, she simply said, “Just show up. Seriously, just show up, Sherri. He’ll do the rest.” I don’t think I’ll ever forget that and it may be my mantra for the rest of my life or any time I get nervous. Thank you for the life-changing words, Erin.

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Image courtesy of Mitzi Eaker

Later that day, I ran into Mitzi during a break, another friend who I don’t know very well, but have always enjoyed being around and looked up to. Running into her was a like a breath a fresh air – her smile lights up a room. She was there on happenstance and again, fate intervened. She told me the story of how she came to be at the conference (a great story!) and I shared with her my future plans and she summed it up perfectly when she said, “You just want to love people. And there are so many people that just need or want love.” That’s it! So, that’s my plan and that’s my mission – I’m going to start small and grow big, but that’s what I’m going to do….I’m just going to lift people up, love people and love on people. I know not everyone gets me and I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s ok. I’m just here to love you….whoever you are….starting with free hugs. And then my Free Love table…also coming soon to a corner near you.

reCreate was amazing. It reminded me that we’re not here for ourselves. We’re here for each other. I’m here for you. And while I want to make a difference, I’m going to start by loving you. Just loving you.

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You get to see ME today!

13724089_10155289197149852_6721589974065864947_o_FotorI get Tiny Buddha in my email Inbox each day. It’s one of the few daily emails I get that I always take time to read because they are usually spot on and helpful to me. Today’s email was no exception – it was titled “5 Ways to Find Peace: Life Lessons from an 8th Grade Teacher.” This is how it started:

Good Morning, and welcome to 8th grade History with Mr. Bacchus. The first thing I need everyone to do is to take out your class schedule and make sure that it says Mr. Bacchus for this period. Is there anyone who doesn’t have my name on their schedule?

No? We sure? Great!!

Now I need each one of you to take a moment and thank whoever you believe in, the powers that be, or even the magic genie that granted you this wish, because you’re one of the few lucky enough to be in my history class this year.

Why lucky?

Because there is going to be a day when you don’t feel like getting out of the bed, but you will remember that you have Mr. Bacchus today and you will be up before the alarm goes off.

One day, your boyfriend or girlfriend will break up with you in the middle of the hallway, and the news will quickly spread via social networking. But when your friend asks you if you’re okay, you’ll simply smile and say,

“I have Mr. Bacchus today.”

I was immediately drawn in and happier. As I read the rest of the article I realized I want to be that person for other people, and I want to find that person (or reason) for me each day. So, I’m going to try very hard to give my co-workers a reason to come in with a smile everyday: “I get to see Sherri today.” Or make sure my husband knows how much I love him and that I’m his number one fan before he leaves and when he gets back home: “I get to see Sherri today.” And the same for my friends…..I want you to feel lucky to know me, but more importantly, I want to deserve that feeling. And I already know I’m lucky to know you…I get to see YOU today!

I’m so angry

Did you know that I love you, yet you make me want to smash things? Did you know that I feel like I hate you sometimes? I talked to you the other day – for the first time in nearly 5 years – to tell you that I was sorry to hear your brother was eaten up with cancer. I AM sorry. I don’t want anyone to ever feel like that – you, your brother, his fiancee, no one. But when, after a few minutes on the phone, you asked me if I was coming to see you, I nearly fainted. NO, I’m not coming to see you. You were slurring your words while we talked. Maybe I woke you. Maybe you had a migraine and you took something for it. But you also like pills, so who knows. I almost laughed when you asked me that. When I asked you if you were still drinking and you said, “Just beer. Only beer now…I stay away from liquor.” It’s a yes or no question…not a “tell me what you switched to because you think that’s a lesser evil” question. You haven’t drank liquor in years. It was whatever when I was younger, then wine (for as long as I’ve known you) and now apparently beer. Good for you. Glad you’re “working on it” and downgrading your buzzes. WHATEVER. You have NO IDEA how angry I am that you chose (AND STILL CHOOSE) alcohol over your family…over your DAUGHTERS! When I wrote you so many years ago I told you that as long as you were drinking that I would need to be out of the picture and I wished you well. When my sister told me yesterday your brother had cancer, I felt for you (and him) and wanted to extend an olive branch. I should have known better. You still drink. You KNOW you cannot drink and carry on normal relationships. It’s been proven time and again. I don’t have the guts (yet) to tell you how angry I am at you or to tell you how sad I am that my mother chose that life over a relationship with her daughter. Maybe I’ll send this to you in a letter. Maybe then you will get the idea. Oh wait, I already did that. Never mind. I am so thankful for friends and family that DO get it and that DO want a relationship with me over other vices. I have friends who are and have been alcoholics. They know firsthand what it’s like and they chose LIFE and their loved ones. I wish you did too. But to each their own. I’m done making excuses for you and I’m done being nice. It’s been four years and you STILL choose it. Enjoy it – I hope it makes you proud. I would have if you had chosen me. I make myself proud. I turned out great DESPITE our relationship and how it has and continues to affect me. Carry on. I’m going to be alright because I am surrounded by love, grace, humility, and forgiveness. But don’t ever forget….I’m still angry and you could have prevented or changed that.

Being Muslim

Hoover Crescent Islamic Center

Recently a group of friends and I had the privilege of visiting the Hoover Crescent Islamic Center to break the Ramadan fast with them. Not knowing what to expect and only hearing horror stories in the news, I was looking forward to learning more about the religion and its people.

We were warmly greeted by the president of the Birmingham Islamic Society, Ashfaq Taufique. He showed us into a small classroom lined with posters explaining various aspects of their community and Qur’ans and pamphlets laid out at each seat for us.

After introductions from everyone in the room, he gave us a brief background of the centers and masjids (mosques) around Birmingham – when they were built and what programs are offered at each. We learned about the six articles of Islam, as well as the five pillars of faith. We heard from a young man in the room, Ali, about how he practices while at school and how he deals with people who don’t understand his faith. After about an hour of learning we heard the Call for Prayer and joined Ashfaq and his young friend in breaking the fast with date fruit and some water before heading to prayer. A young lady, Rawan, escorted us to the masjid for prayer. Women and men enter the masjid through separate entrances after removing their shoes. Once inside, we watched and listened as verses of the Qu’ran were recited as men, women, and children stood, bowed, kneeled, and prostrated in prayer. It was a beautiful thing to behold and we stood in revered silence during the service. Many of the women came up to us after and introduced themselves, offering their hands and thanking us for coming. Once the service was over Ashfaq took us into the men’s portion of the masjid so we could see the Qu’ran verses written on the wall in Arabic and ask any questions we might have had about the service itself.pic1

Once we were back in the classroom, it was time to eat the meal. We enjoyed chicken tikka masala, potatoes, rice, and salad. Over dinner we asked many questions of Ashfaq and his young friends. Rawan had just graduated from high school and was on her way to UAB in the fall. She briefly described starting her education out at the Islamic Academy of Alabama and then transferring to Hoover High.

Talking with all of them during our two hour visit, I was struck at how full of love, peace, and passion they were. As Ashfaq pointed out, “There are radicals in every religion, but you don’t hear about others. We are peaceful people – the ones who you see on television are not like us. We don’t know who they are or where they came from. You never hear about all the good that comes from Muslims. We are feeding a school tomorrow here in Birmingham, and across the world a group of Muslims raised money and built a church for some Christians who had no place to worship. But you never hear about that stuff.” It’s sad, but true. I had no idea until he told us about it.

pic3Rawan said it best when she told us, “Our religion is based on love, peace, and kindness. We’re working hard to change people’s perceptions of us against what the media is putting out. We’re ALL human beings.” Amen, Rawan. Amen.

Everyone we met was kind and full of life and smiles. It was a wonderful, eye opening experience that I hope everyone will try at some point. We fear what we do not understand and our group went to get a better understanding. We left full of love, peace, and kindness.

If you would like to share in a Ramadan fast-breaking meal, please contact Rita Taufique at 879-4247 Ext. 2 or email rita.taufique@bisweb.org to make your reservation.

 

All photos courtesy of Catherine Lewis