Gone too soon

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Courtesy of Simon Sun

From my friend Tanya:

The world has lost another beautiful, spirited, creative person to addiction. I’m sharing her dad’s post (with his permission) to further his efforts to destigmatize this issue for families like theirs.

Cassidy Aspen Cochran was born on June 22, 1994. She was a precocious child. As soon as she could talk, she was quoting lines from Shakespeare. She loved to perform for friends and family. She called herself the “Queen of Make Believe.” She was so smart, so funny. Even when times got tough, she could always make you laugh. She had a huge heart. She loved animals. All animals. Especially Harambe. She was also so beautiful; stunning really. She recently had plans to marry her fiancé, Frank Calzone. She loved him and he loved her. She wanted to create a life with him. She seemed genuinely happy over this past year with him. Unfortunately, Cassidy also struggled with addiction. Her addiction finally won. She died of a heroin overdose in the early morning hours of November 11, 2016. I write this not to dishonor her memory but to shine some light on an illness that is taking the lives of far too many. If we allow shame, guilt or embarrassment to cause this illness to become a dark family secret, hiding in the shadows, everyone loses. Cassidy now joins the ever expanding list of daughters, sons, sisters, brothers, and grandchildren taken far too soon by this growing healthcare epidemic. But, please remember, Cassidy isn’t just a statistic, she was our sunshine, even when she kept us awake with worry. Everyone on that list was the light of someone’s life. Thus, it is important to remember that Cassidy wasn’t just her illness; she was our daughter and our friend. Words cannot describe how much she will be missed. Cassidy was survived by her fiancé, Frank Calzone, her father, Chris Cochran, her mother, Charla Hale Bocchicchio, her grandparents, Tom and Barbara Cochran, her granfather, Robert Hale and far too many aunts, uncles, and cousins to list. Final arraingments will be announced at a later time. In lieu of flowers, please call or write your state representative and plead with them to make Naloxone available over the counter, without a prescription.

Here is my plan

A friend on Facebook recently posted this after the election and I fell in love with it and immediately asked if I could share it. Here you go:

Here is my plan. It does no good to say it, but it does do good to do it. I post it here just in case you’re up also for tackling this daily, hourly, active hard work–or in case you want to hold me accountable, days and weeks and years from now. Peace, friends. See you tomorrow. ~ G.h. Burgin Mathews

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We stand together

From my friend Deon Gordon:

A few weeks ago, I had the distinct honor of chatting privately with civil rights activist and former mayor of Atlanta, Andrew Young. He shared with me a humorous and rather encouraging story of native son, Fred Shuttlesworth. “When the water hoses started firing, we all started hiding behind trees… we looked over and Fred was in the street with his chest out.” That’s our legacy, Birmingham… Unshakable bravery. An unwavering commitment to justice… regardless of who’s in office, regardless of who’s in power. It’s through that lens which I look upon this election and upon this nation. Those who fought for us faced down much worse. I hope, in our own ways, we can honor their courage.

What do you do? Advice needed.

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Photo courtesy of sbrac

Many of my readers know of my tumultuous relationship with my estranged, alcoholic mother. To recap our last encounter, I reached out after several quiet (and drama free years) to offer my sympathy when I found out her last living brother had cancer. That didn’t end very well and we left things worse than they were, basically ending all contact forever.

I found out that he passed away yesterday. The last phone call from her was August 19th and I remember it like it was yesterday. And it still hurts like it was yesterday. But I’ve received so much support and love from my family and friends  – I am no longer hurting or bitter about it. It is what it is and I know it’s not me…it’s her disease. And I vowed I would never speak to her again, per her voicemail on that day, but my heart is hurting for her right now. I’ve sent along my condolences verbally with my sister, but do you think it’s ok to send a card? Nothing more – no phone call (NEVER!) and no flowers, but just a signed sympathy card from me to let her know that even though we may never speak again, that I’m still sorry for her loss…which I am. I hate that for anyone…even her. Or should I just leave it alone? The last time I opened that door, it turned out horribly. And I’m not opening that door – I’m just sending a card. But I didn’t think I was opening the door last time by offering my sympathy, but apparently I was (my mistake was calling). I’m so confused. Your advice and thoughts would be so appreciated.

Thanks you in advance readers!