Missing

I know there are events in our lives that make us stronger people…that mold us into who we are. Moving to DC was one of those events for me. While I love living here, it hasn’t been easy. There have been obstacles to overcome when all I wanted to do was flee back to Alabama…to home…where my friends and family wait for me. And yes, I do mean wait. There are friends who bet me that I would be back by Christmas. I assured them I wouldn’t, but there were times when I feared they may be right. I guess fear is the wrong word. The decision to move here was a long, thought-out process..one that I couldn’t have made without the help of friends. One of my biggest hesitations was the fear of failing. What if I didn’t make it and had to come home? What if I hated it and came crawling back with my tail between my legs? What if I just couldn’t stay above water? A dear, very wise friend told me that it wasn’t failing if I never tried. And it wasn’t failing period. I think it just took her reasoning and wonderful assurance that I wouldn’t be a failure even if I did come home because I did do it..it just didn’t work out for whatever reason. And she assured me that I need not worry what my friends and family would think because they would never consider me a failure for having the courage to do it. And she assured me that I would always be welcome with open arms no matter how long (or little) I stayed in DC.

Tonight I’m missing that friend, along with all the others. And my family. I miss them a lot, but I have a wonderful family here now and I’m blessed to have family in all corners of the country now. I’m blessed, but still missing them. I miss her infectious laugh and the way she brightens any room the minute she smiles. I miss the friend who knows me better than anyone and who knows what I’m thinking without a word. I miss the friend who has helped me through the toughest times in my life and is the rock that I lean on. I miss the friend I grew up with..the one I know I can always pick up where we left off. I miss the friend who helped me grow up and helped make me into the woman I am today…I hope I am half the woman she is. I miss the friend who is struggling with her own demons right now, but has helped me in ways she’ll never know. I miss the friend lost over stupid immaturity before it was too late. I miss the friend who took care of me for many years and still does. I miss the friend who thinks that I’ll never be replaced. I miss the friend who I connected with online and then in person. I miss the mother I reconnected with and who has become so much more since. I miss the friend who took my mind off things when I poured my heart out to her at dinner every week. And I miss my dad like nobody’s business. This is a post to let you all know you’re thought of, loved and missed. Tonight and every.