Dear Reader,

How are you? I hope this letter finds you well. Things here are very busy, craziness inside and outside of my head. Thoughts rushing by me like gales, moment upon moment creating memories that I will take with me.

If I have not yet told you – I am moving. To Washington, D.C. In a month. JUSTLIKETHAT it all changes. For the better. I hope. There are days that I feel I can take on the world and I relish the thought of being in a brand new city, a new world to me. Then there are those days that I fold into a ball on my bed, crying and wonder how I’m going to say goodbye to the people that I love. It’s not like it’s forever and it’s not like it’s another country, but it’s still a very strange feeling for me and I’m having a hard time with it. Because this is my comfort zone. Alabama is my security blanket. I never knew it until I decided to leave. It’s high past time I tried on a new jacket, but the old one fits so well, ya know?

Bear with me. I’m going to have good days…and bad ones. Days that I’ll gush about the exciting opportunities that await me in D.C., of all the cities that are just a few hours away – none of which I’ve been to. And days that I break down and pray for the strength to do this. Because I’m a chicken.

And I hate goodbyes.

Do you remember that game/exercise called Free Association? One person would say something and the other person would say the first thing that popped into their head after hearing it? The mind amazes me. I think about “thought association” all the time, how random thoughts make their way into our everyday lives, the path they traveled to get there.

I have lots of random moments, but if I carefully trace the steps backwards I can always figure out how I got there and it never ceases to amaze me how our minds work. I love to tell people about it too (for some unknown reason). If I ask a friend a sort of random question then I explain to them why I asked it – how my thought process got RIGHT THERE at that moment in time. It’s really whacky if you start thinking about it the next time some strange idea/thought pops into your head. You can go from koala bears to Diet Pepsi in a millisecond.

A few random notes for my loyal readers (all 2 of you – thank you!):

I dreamt last night, among other things, that I owned a pet bat. I don’t know if it was because of the weather or being hyper all night, but they were strange. I vaguely remember bits and pieces of them– living in my old house with my dad, but my mother was there too (which never actually happened in real life), and I got in trouble for some reason and was grounded, but had friends over anyway, raiding the fridge and stuff after the parents went to sleep. But back to the bat – somewhere in this dream I owned this cute, tiny little grayish/brownish/blackish bat. I don’t know if he had a name. Actually, I don’t know if it was a “he.” But “he” was there – up in the rafters of the ceiling (huh??), on the table, on my bed – sleeping. If I held my finger out, he would come fly down and get on it. And he tinkled on my hand once when he got scared. (oh boy, I can’t believe I’m writing this, but I did just remember that). So, every time people were around him from then on I would ask them not to move too suddenly and startle him because he would pee on my finger. Ok, enough of that. But I had a bat.

I was also listening to music this morning on the drive in. I usually love how music can transport you back to a certain stage/memory in your life that it’s associated with. But for the first time, I think I realized that it can also bring you down or evoke certain feelings that you’d rather not be reliving. I was listening to an artist this morning that just brought back memories of turmoil, confusion, anxiety and angst. I love the music and love the artist, but listened to it over and over when I was terribly confused about some stuff a few years ago. Now when I hear it, those old feelings come back a little. I really need to associate a positive experience with it to change that feeling. I really like the music! Lol.

I guess that’s about it for now. There is some major stuff going on in my life (all good), but I will save that news for a little later – when I get all my ducks in a row. Until then, wish me luck getting ready for a yard sale (hopefully). I’m going to talk to my landlord tomorrow about it. It’ll probably be May 4th and 5th (same weekend as the Crawfish Boil and Elton John here in B’ham) so any of you Montgomery peeps that might be coming up or wanting to stop by, please do! I can always use some more hands. j/k

I will leave you with a great, new song that I have fallen in love with – it’s a great pick me up. It’s Rocco Deluca’s “Colourful” and you can hear it play while surfing his site at: http://www.roccodeluca.co.uk/